MAGICAL NYAN NYAN TARUTO EPISODE 1

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Huh. i never thought that a show about a magical catgirl could be so boring. this might just be this year's seikai no senki. (read: boring anime. NOT similar to seikai no senki. in any other way.)

first off. nobody cared at all about this anime to the point that the resolution is absolutely so so poor and the subtitles are all in the no anti-aliasing yellow-with-black-outline style... in 2001. LOL

we open with a narration depicting a war between two cat kingdoms. i was made very excited by this, as i assumed the characters would all be literal cats. (i was WRONG about this.) one cat kingdom is on the verge of collapse, and the cat king puts future control of the cat kingdom into the paws of his newborn daughter. he then sends her away with a royal babysitter (they used a more regal name than that but i forgot. sorry)


then we cut to present day. meet iori and taruto! iori is a regular normal human guy. and he's fucking insufferable a little bit in a funny way. taruto is an incredibly childlike catgirl who is also Very Small. she has magical powers! taruto and iori are moving to a bigger house with a third girl whose name they Do Not Tell us so i am also just not going to show you a picture of her. imagine miku with brown hair. she's also mean and keeps referring to taruto as "that cat"


oh btw i lied you are getting a picture of her. because at one point iori just starts talking about yams and potatoes. it's okay, characters just randomly appearing throughout the episode with no explanation or reason is totally normal in this show.


in that last screenshot there, you might notice two other characters in the foreground. For some reason there's two strange catwomen stalking taruto around her new home? we don't really get any context on what they're doing there, they just started appearing in scenes from this point onwards.

so far. nothing has really happened. we get to see a sudden dream sequence from taruto because she accidentally casted a magic ball on herself and iori while they were playing (iori was waving around a cat toy for her) . and its the most. its so.

this is the only two screenshots i took of the sequence because they caught me so off guard.



the sequencing of this dream is basically. iori has taken care of taruto since she was a baby.

and then it cuts to taruto grown up (more than she is now) wearing a pretty dress. and then we see iori again wearing a white suit. he's holding a big bouquet of flowers.

THE SOUND OF WEDDING BELLS FADES IN

and then it cuts to a cartoonish house with a chimney with stacks of heart-shaped smoke coming out of it. we see taruto again wishing iori goodbye as he goes off to work. the brown haired miku is here too as a stupid dog

So i guess what we learn from this dream sequence is that taruto loves iori. i can only hope this isnt reciprocated and is meant to just be played as a kiddie crush? i can only hope. taruto later refers to herself as "iori's fiancee" but iori isnt present in the scene so he's not there to confirm or deny this. I can only fucking hope.

Alright, you ready to move on from that? Next scene? Of course you are!

taruto wakes up from her nap. (iori is still asleep so he's basically fridged for the rest of the episode) she wanders into the kitchen because she hears a weird noise AND THE SCALING OF THE CHARACTERS CHANGES DRAMATICALLY.

here's two pictures of taruto's current scale. she's about the size of a small human child, right?


This is taruto in the kitchen.

Got it?

this is a screenshot taken literally THE EXACT NEXT SHOT. THIS IS TARUTO NEXT TO THE FRIDGE.

SHE'S GETTING SMALLER.

NOT FOR ANY STORY REASONS. THIS ISN'T A DREAM SEQUENCE. SHE JUST. GETS. SMALLER.

it turns out that those two ADULT WOMAN CATGIRLS FROM BEFORE are in the kitchen STEALING a cake that iori made. THE TWO WOMEN THAT WERE ADULT SIZE BEFORE? THEYRE SMALL ENOUGH TO FIT IN THE FRIDGE AND ALSO THAT PLATE IS FUCKING HUGE IN COMPARISON TO ALL THREE OF THEM???????? THAT'S NOT A PERSPECTIVE TRICK THATS THE SIZE OF THE FUCKING PLATE


Why are they all small. I don't know. They go back to being regular size when they reenter the same room as the human characters. i dont know.

they all run out of the kitchen because they hear scary noises and think that it's a monster coming to eat them. taruto runs back into the room with iori still sleeping and convinces herself that she needs to fight the monster. so we spend about 4 minutes watching her tear up a room full of moving boxes

btw intermittently we get small scenes of these three ADULT SIZED CHARACTERS wandering through the wilderness searching for... something. i assume they're searching for the missing catgirl princess for ill-intended kingdom war reasons? whatever


taruto crawls up into the attic and discovers the scary sounds were coming from a talking flying squirrel that i didnt care about enough to take photos of. taruto gives him the ability to fly home because he was too hungry to fly on his own and then he leaves

brown haired miku returns back from the store (she went to the store) and discovers the absolute MESS taruto has made.

THE END

DO I WANT TO WATCH MORE?

I'm scared of this show.

FAVORITE SCREENSHOTS

I have none.