pay: i dont know anything about chobits im just looking forward to seeing robots
jack: 🙁 Good luck
pay: 🙁 Are the robots lame
jack: Have fun!
pay:
CHOBITS EPISODE 1
i was soooo excited for this one. soooo naive and innocent.this is our first anime to have a modern 16:9 ratio instead of the standard 4:3! This is all that i can say in terms of technological advancements.
we open on a shot of our main character, hideki motosuwa. he's a farmboy!
we also get to see a lot of really beautiful landscape sceneries of the countryside which isn't something i was expecting at all. this isn't all of the landscapes either just some of my favorites
hideki applied to go to college in tokyo, but when he excitedly checked the mail...
Fuuuuuck, dude. hideki is NOT giving up though! immediately after getting his heart broken, he starts hyping himself up again. it's fine! he'll go to a prep school in tokyo and study hard! and then NEXT year he'll DEFINITELY get into college!!!!!!
i REALLY like hideki so far! he's not a boring guy with no motivations or interests (unlike yuuichi...) and he's pretty entertaining. very goofy guy LOL
so right away, hideki heads off to tokyo! (im a little curious where his parents are. but we're not talking about them right now i guess)
when he reaches the city, he immediately starts noticing Persocoms walking around, and storefronts with persocoms on display.
What the fuck is a persocom? A persocom is a robot that's built to look exactly like a person. What can a persocom do?
- Give you directions
- Make phonecalls
- Receive email
- Browse the internet
For reference, here's what they show us persocoms doing throughout this first episode:
- The first persocom that hideki sees is following a business man and giving him directions on what train to take.
That's it! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY GET EMAILS
whatever. hideki REALLY REALLY REALLY wants a persocom, but they're prohibitively expensive. and for a broke college student-to-be, he absolutely cannot afford one. Sad!
hideki moves into his new apartment, and gets a knock on the door. he opens it and is SHOT IN THE FUCKING FACE WITH A PARTY POPPER and a STRANGE LITTLE THING dancing on his face. this is his neighbor, shinbo! he's the same age as hideki, and is ALSO going to the same prep school as him! it's a fast friendship. yayyyy
you might be wondering: What's that pink thing? that thing is also a persocom! it's a mobile version. her name is sumomo. hi sumomo. you might think, oh, this is going to be a hand-maid may situation. nope! sumomo is treated normally! wow, isn't that awesome! you'd think that persocoms would be treated a lot more strangely, right?
oh, there is one other thing that hideki is highly invested in about persocoms.
They have the ability to browse Porn Sites. That's what hideki and shinbo are handshaking about in that screenshot.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Aaaaaaah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Don't worry about that.
hideki goes out for a quick convenience store run, and we get to see him complaining even more about how ohhhh he WISHES he had a persocom but they're just so EXPENSIVE!!! if only he could just run into a really cute and pretty one laying around on the side of the street. SIIIIIGH. Yeah right, like THAT'D ever happen! this is the point to where i kind of stopped liking hideki as much.
YOU'RE WRONG, HIDEKI!
This is a persocom that somebody threw out and left on the trash pile. And just why is she naked and covered in bandages?😃
so hideki carries her home with GREAT struggles because persocoms are VERY VERY heavy. a little cd-rom falls down while he's carrying her home, and we get an ominous zoom-in on it. I Think That That Might Be Important! nevertheless, hideki pushes on and manages to get her home.
S-Surely it'll be normal from this point on, right? Just a rough start?
😃
Well, the first thing to do is figure out how to turn the persocom on! Shinbo mentioned that there's a switch you have to push to turn it on.
😃
Hideki tries pushing on all of the obvious parts. The little button on her robo-cat ears, her nose, every single one of her toes, and EVEN her chest! But, none of them worked!
😃
Thaaaaaaat's right! Chobits has just pulled a classic...
HAND-MAID MAY.... TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was there. Yeah. That's where the switch was. and also, as soon as the persocom has been powered on, all of the bandages on her fucking FLY off and around the room. Because of course they do 😃all that this poor persocom knows how to say is "Chi", and she's a big fan of copying what other gestures people are doing. she'll even mimick the Poses of models in a SWIMSUIT MAGAZINE!!!!!!!!!! we're going to call her chii now because that's less letters than persocom. you might also notice that, hey, i've stopped taking screenshots! This is out of respect for women.
the next several minutes consist of pure unadulterated fanservice. shinbo knock-knock-knocks on hideki's door and asks if he wants to go to a spa together, while hideki is desperately digging around in his room looking for ANYTHING for chii to wear and he's so fucking incompetent at it that when shinbo (Inevitably) opens the door he has to keep posing awkwardly to hide the existence of chii.
Live Shinbo Reaction
anyway, hideki manages to get shinbo to leave. and then his LANDLORD who is a very nice lady visits hideki anyeah she sees chii naked. yeah. we the audience don't see it due to the strategic hair censoring and quickly cutting to a different camera angles. but that's what happens.
the episode ends with hideki wondering if chii is broken because the only thing she can say is chii, and she was found in the garbage pile... but chii looks so fucking devastated upon hearing this, and hideki reassures her that he won't throw her away.
After all,
Why would you say it like that.
the episode ends with chii hugging hideki, and hideki commenting on How soft her boobs are. HUH??? ROLL CREDITSdo i want to watch more?
my enthusiasm for this show started at like a 8 and by the end of it i'm at a 2. there is something inherently very horrifying about there just being Person Style Robots for anyone to buy and use and it just being completely normal. and instead we've gone in the Questionable Motives direction. and that makes me very sad. No i wouldn't.favorite screenshots
i did enjoy the exaggerated expressions at least? that's one good thing to come of this i guess. yeah sumomo is parroting what shinbo and hideki talked about earlier but look at her stupid face ive never seen anime make a face like that before
oh my god i cant believe i forgot about cow.
this is like the very first shot. they animate the cow eating like its talking. for a second i genuinely thought this cow was hideki
i wish this cow was hideki. i wish shows were good to watch instead of bad to watch...
