HARÉ+GUU EPISODE 1

THIS ANIME IS FUCKING INSANE.

Okay. So haré is a little jungle boy who lives in a jungle with his mom. Why a jungle? I don't fucking know. he's also a little gamer. and He's blue. and everybody in this anime has bright white little dots on their face and i cant figure it out. Whatever.
Haré and his mother talking to him. Subtitles read, I understand. End subtitleHaré watching his mother tie her shoes, confused. Subtitles read, Why loose socks for work? End subtitle

haré's mom comes home drunk, and brings home a random little white girl who doesnt have a mom or dad. her name is guu. guu is going to be living with them now, because she doesnt have parents.

the first night that guu is home, she's incredibly polite and charming to haré. she seems like a very nice and well meaning girl! haré likes her a lot. then the next day comes along... and guu's personality has taken a complete 180. She's a huge fucking hater.

haré tries to give her a banana to eat and she just puts it in her mouth whole, starts chewing it, and THE SOUNDS OF PEOPLE SCREAMING START PLAYING. Then she spits the banana out, completely in tact, and says that it's gross.

See this bird? This bird is named Hii.

Guu grabs this bird out of the air and eats him in one bite.

after this, we learn 2 things about guu.

1. the cutie-pie sweetness guu that we saw before is an act that she puts on sometimes out of habit, but after she already knows somebody, she drops the facade. #autismwarrior
2. She has an entire world in her stomach full of bizarre creatures and TWO HUMAN TEENAGERS IN HIGHSCHOOL. and every time she eats something it goes right to the stomach world.

Haré is deeply upset and disturbed by this.

and then his mom comes back home carrying this Fucking Thing. ROLL CREDITS.
Haré's mother wearing a red raincoat and proudly holding up a fox-like animal. The animal looks unimpressed with the situation.

here's what guu looks like, too.
Haré and Guu looking at the camera. Haré says to Guu, Are you really going to eat it? Haré and Guu looking at the camera. Guu replies, I guess.
Haré grabs Guu by her shoulders with tears in his eyes. Haré cries, Aah! What do you mean by 'I guess'?!
they're talking about guu eating the TV.

do i want to watch more?

I would be lying if i said no. they just kept throwing things at me. Why are there two highschoolers inside her? What's wrong with her.

favorite screenshots

this is the most screenshots ive ever taken of an anime before so you're just getting the leftovers now.
Two teenagers looking out at the camera through Guu's eyes. Subtitles read, You don't need an appointment to come see us! End subtitle A piece of paper that says Bananas Times 10. Bananas is written as a picture of bananas.
Guu from the opening theme song in the middle of doing a wiggly little dance. Her eyes are closed.
super gals is gonna be the first episode that i'm going to be watching dubbed! because for some reason, the subtitles are out of sync by about 4 seconds? which is incredibly frustrating. and also the video host is different from the majority of animesuge's usual hosts and it gives me a popup window every time i interact with the player???!! which is scary and doesnt usually happen since i have an adblocker. the popup's content gets blocked but its still really annoying LOL

surely this isn't an omen of some kind!

SUPER GALS! KOTOBUKI RAN EPISODE 1

Alright. Well. Okay. Well.

I'm judging this one based off of the dub so keep that in mind. Don't watch the dub by the way. They said a slur. It's 2001.

super gals has a similar-ish structure to saiki k 2, a bunch of short comedic scenes and happenstances that all seem unrelated but by the end of the episode it all ties together.

our main gal is ran kotobuki, a spunky 16 year old girl thats obsessed with fashion, fun, and frequently gets herself into trouble. she comes from a Cop Family and has a Cop Brother that frequently bails her out of trouble, but she hates the cops and insists that she is NOT A COP.

im being really really nice when i say comedic. it's not that funny. a lot of the joke punchlines boil down to "Ran is obsessed with a trendy bag and is throwing a tantrum!" "Ran falls asleep in class and doesn't know the answer when a teacher calls on her!". anytime that i found the show actually funny was when they did some goofy slapstick shenanigans.

the plot for this episode turns out to be that one of ran's classmates is going on subsidized dates, and ran keeps chasing after her to try and stop her from going on these dates. at the end of the episode, ran manages to corner her, and gives her a heartfelt speech about how she cant sell parts of herself, and to stop treating herself like merchandise. this convinces her to stop going on dates, and she joins ran's friend group.

i thought the message was nice, but i just kind of wish the rest of the anime was nicer in that regard? its main joke is just Women Be Shopping, and ran keeps swinging between being incredibly shallow and being a person in a really strange and meanspirited way. she's only allowed to be genuine for like 5 minutes, and then she has to go and steal a random highschool guy's bag because the bag is trending currently. Huh?

theres also these three antagonistic gyaru girls that show up every so often, and theyre drawn with the racist lips and i really do not appreciate seeing them at all. which really sucks because aside from them im a fan of the artstyle.

here's a compilation of the insane things that these dub actors said. all of these are coming directly from ran herself, unless otherwise specified.
"Woohoo! Boxed lunch from the loving wife, way to slay!"
"I bought an italian some new hair! [picture of a wig colored like the italian flag] 'New Hair', as in, a wig? The italians feel better and so do I!"
"I can't believe that you're dressed like that! When you're at school you always dress so completely lame!"
two passerbys conversation: "I heard she's going out on subsidized dates!" "What?! I say no way! This has gotta be fiction, as in SCI-FI!"
(from this point onwards, everybody calls them 'subsi-dates' and it kind of drives me nuts.)
ran's friend miyu: "It worries Miyu since your brain is so basic." "Ran's brain is so basic."

do i want to watch more?

No. especially not the dub. it makes me think of if there was a south park anime FOR GIRLS!

favorite screenshots

this type of art style is really charming so i just took some pictures of the opening to show them off. i really like ran's hairstyle too! i went into this anime expecting to be a huge fan of it because the art's so fun. I Was Wrong.
3 anime girls smiling happily at the camera. On the left is a blonde girl, Miyu, in the middle is a girl with orange hair and red streaks, Ran, and on the right is Ran's classmate with black hair who's name I forgot. A fullbody shot of the same 3 girls. They have long, stylized bodies with big shoes. A close-up shot of the same 3 girls, showing off details of their accessories and hairstyles.

another thing is they kept saying something and following it up with "That's an iron-clad GAL rule!" it was SO GRATING!!!!!!